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Limerick Competition - The Result!!

The onerous task has fallen to me to pick the first winner of the Baffle Online Limerick competition. Like Barack Obama, I felt the sense of history on my shoulders as I perused the entries into this most prestigious competition! If Barack thinks his job is tough, he should try judging a Limerick competition!

As I tried to keep up with the entries as they came streaming in relentlessly, I began to have disturbing nightmares which featured Michael O’Leary and Dermot Mannion engaging in all sorts of horizontal activity in every imaginable (and in some cases, unimaginable) position. When Eamon McNally emerged from the galley in one instance, I considered seeking professional help. I may never fly again!!

And so to the competition itself. I thought the first line in every entry was excellent. Strangely enough, they were all exactly the same. (except for Siún McDonald who had to put an entry in Irish and ruin that last joke!!).

Once we hit the second line, however, it was downhill after that!!

All joking aside, coming up with a Top 3 was a thankless task. I must admit the lead changed hands a few times depending on the mood I was in and the amount of methalayted spirits I had consumed at that particular time.

There were 6 or 7 entries that were in the running. In coming up with the winners, the main criteria were that they were funny (obviously), clever and also that they scanned well. In some cases, entries which would have been there or thereabouts lost out because there might have been an extra syllable that threw the rhythm out. (You’d swear I knew what I was talking about!)

So in reverse order, here is the result of the Dublin jury.

In 3rd place I went for Anne Marie Hough. Most entries obviously made reference to the post-marital shenanigans of Mick and Dermot. Anne Marie somehow managed to squeeze in Ryanair’s hub airport into the equation on top of everything else. And that took some doing!

Ryanair and Aer Lingus to wed

Imagine the foreplay in bed,

As they tumbled and tossed

To find out who's boss,

They landed a few miles from Stansted


In 2nd place, I went for John Flanagan. This was classic bawdy Limerick fare. No messing around, straight to the point. Nice rhythm to it (the limerick that is, not Dermot Mannion). It was the one entry I found myself saying “Boom Boom” at the end of it. Classic limerick criteria!!

Ryanair and Aerlingus to wed

For O Leary it was all in his head

But Mannion said Screw you

Im damned if i'll do you

And he hammered a hostess instead


And so to the WINNER. I picked this because it had a little bit of everything. It had the topicality, the double entendres, nice angle on the age difference between the airlines.

And to get all that in 5 lines is some feat. So, congratulations to the first winner (or is that the Virgin winner) of the Baffle Online Limerick competition .. Peter Goulding.

Ryanair and Aer Lingus to wed,

"I'll admit she's no Virgin," Mick said.

"She is nearing her pension

And her routes need attention

But I'll relish the conjugal bed."


I will now going into hiding and will emerge again only when I know it is safe. Well done to one and all!!

- Declan O’Brien



 

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