What To Do When Your Brother Commits Suicide

By Lucy Mc Crann


Screen all calls.

Answer most of them;

it’s better than being alone

with your thoughts.


Make no plans.

But visit your brother’s wife,

his children,

and your sisters.


Accept all hugs,

especially the fierce ones.

Stop explaining how great he was.

Everyone knows already.


Dive into sleep.

It gets rid of the night,

and you won’t always feel sick

on wakening.


Wear your favourite colours.

But don’t look in the mirror.

Remember him

in his red sweater.


Listen to music.

Even though it makes you cry.

Put tissues in every room,

slice cucumber for your eyes.


Tear a hole in May

let the calendar slip back to April.

Replay your last conversation

Over and over.


Tell yourself

you couldn’t have saved him.

Try hard every second

to believe it.


Eat

Sleep

Shower

Scream like crazy.